Sidekick Girl

Saving the City: Sans-Spandex

Hope everybody is staying in, and staying safe.  It’s a good time for an archive binge!

For your head brain.

You’d think that hero and citizen alike would be filling trauma wards in droves after every major battle, but rarely do you read a story about your favorite cape having to hang up their spandex because of post concussion syndrome.  Well, it’s all because of Trauma B Gone!

The bottle is about the size of a five hour energy shot, and comes with a convenient twist tab that can be easily ripped off with the teeth in case of an emergency.  Anyone on the job knows to throw back one of these little gems right before heading out to the streets, and keeps a few in their pockets for good measure.  You can pick them up in just about any drugstore or convenience store.

Trauma B Gone is also available in IV form for medical professionals in need of an extra concentrated dose.

Fun fact!  The manufacturers make Trauma B Gone in two flavors, Cherry and Blue Raspberry, to go along with the industry theme of having everything in blue and red for the heroes and villains.  But the cherry flavor tastes so bad that it’s hardly ever sold, and blue and red cards alike stock up on the blue raspberry flavor, which tastes like a jolly rancher.

16 responses to “TRAUMA B GONE”

  1. Twitch says:

    Laughed so hard my family came to check on me. Nice work!

  2. Brian says:

    Cherry. Yuck. I have nasty childhood memories of ‘black cherry’ flavored chemical waste that I took when I was sick. Now I won’t go near that flavor.

  3. Dave says:

    I wish those really existed,I could’ve used them many times, Unfortunately.

  4. JMWR says:

    They should have tried to make strawberry.

    • Sidekickgirl says:

      Strawberry is ALWAYS superior to cherry.

      • Zengar says:

        No, unfortunately it is not. I have encountered a few TRULY reprehensible artificial strawberry flavored items. And even the worst fake cherry or strawberry is better than that one alleged watermelon . . . Ugh, why must my memory for flavors be so good 🙁

  5. Black Rose says:

    I have childhood memories of taking that bittersweet stuff when I was young!
    YUCK!!! 🙁 @_@

  6. I could have used several of these when I got hit with the truck. And broke the street with my face.

  7. CheshireMadcat says:

    Green apple schnapps flavor, they would make a killing.

  8. John Tougas says:

    Erm… “Cognitive”….

  9. Chris says:

    You’d think if they could make a drink that instantly healed any trauma, they’d figure out a way to make a cherry flavor that actually tasted like cherries, instead of chemicals.

  10. xero says:

    Should change it to fruit punch

  11. Interesting coincidence 8/31 was the 15th anniversary of the day I died from getting hit with a truck. Obviously [Monty Python]”I got better”[/Monty Python], but I was dead (no pulse or respiration) for at least 2 minutes. That kept me from bleeding out from the massive hole blown out of my leg from the truck hitting it, so being dead saved my life. But I still ended up with TBI from landing face-first in the street after getting tossed 12-16 feet into the air (and about 50 feet from where I got hit) and spinning on all 3 axis several times. Trauma Be Gone by IV would have saved my brain and my ability to find work after recovering from the physical injuries.

  12. Kit says:

    What about the ward for Trauma-B-Gone addiction?

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