Sidekick Girl

Saving the City: Sans-Spandex

For your head brain.

You’d think that hero and citizen alike would be filling trauma wards in droves after every major battle, but rarely do you read a story about your favorite cape having to hang up their spandex because of post concussion syndrome.  Well, it’s all because of Trauma B Gone!

The bottle is about the size of a five hour energy shot, and comes with a convenient twist tab that can be easily ripped off with the teeth in case of an emergency.  Anyone on the job knows to throw back one of these little gems right before heading out to the streets, and keeps a few in their pockets for good measure.  You can pick them up in just about any drugstore or convenience store.

Trauma B Gone is also available in IV form for medical professionals in need of an extra concentrated dose.

Fun fact!  The manufacturers make Trauma B Gone in two flavors, Cherry and Blue Raspberry, to go along with the industry theme of having everything in blue and red for the heroes and villains.  But the cherry flavor tastes so bad that it’s hardly ever sold, and blue and red cards alike stock up on the blue raspberry flavor, which tastes like a jolly rancher.

17 responses to “TRAUMA B GONE”

  • Twitch on August 31, 2016 at 12:53 PM

    Laughed so hard my family came to check on me. Nice work!

  • Brian on August 31, 2016 at 5:09 PM

    Cherry. Yuck. I have nasty childhood memories of ‘black cherry’ flavored chemical waste that I took when I was sick. Now I won’t go near that flavor.

  • Dave on August 31, 2016 at 9:13 PM

    I wish those really existed,I could’ve used them many times, Unfortunately.

  • JMWR on August 31, 2016 at 9:25 PM

    They should have tried to make strawberry.

  • Sidekickgirl on August 31, 2016 at 9:31 PM

    Strawberry is ALWAYS superior to cherry.

  • Zengar on August 31, 2016 at 9:39 PM

    No, unfortunately it is not. I have encountered a few TRULY reprehensible artificial strawberry flavored items. And even the worst fake cherry or strawberry is better than that one alleged watermelon . . . Ugh, why must my memory for flavors be so good 🙁

  • Black Rose on August 31, 2016 at 9:51 PM

    I have childhood memories of taking that bittersweet stuff when I was young!
    YUCK!!! 🙁 @_@

  • Opus the Poet on August 31, 2016 at 10:35 PM

    I could have used several of these when I got hit with the truck. And broke the street with my face.

  • CheshireMadcat on September 1, 2016 at 5:31 AM

    Green apple schnapps flavor, they would make a killing.

  • John Tougas on September 1, 2016 at 9:04 AM

    Erm… “Cognitive”….

  • Andorxor on September 6, 2016 at 4:30 AM

    Real cherry flavor is probable not strong enough to mask the taste of the trauma medicine

  • Chris on September 1, 2016 at 9:34 AM

    You’d think if they could make a drink that instantly healed any trauma, they’d figure out a way to make a cherry flavor that actually tasted like cherries, instead of chemicals.

  • xero on September 4, 2016 at 10:16 PM

    Should change it to fruit punch

  • Opus the Poet on September 6, 2016 at 5:16 PM

    Interesting coincidence 8/31 was the 15th anniversary of the day I died from getting hit with a truck. Obviously [Monty Python]”I got better”[/Monty Python], but I was dead (no pulse or respiration) for at least 2 minutes. That kept me from bleeding out from the massive hole blown out of my leg from the truck hitting it, so being dead saved my life. But I still ended up with TBI from landing face-first in the street after getting tossed 12-16 feet into the air (and about 50 feet from where I got hit) and spinning on all 3 axis several times. Trauma Be Gone by IV would have saved my brain and my ability to find work after recovering from the physical injuries.

  • Kit on February 20, 2017 at 4:03 PM

    What about the ward for Trauma-B-Gone addiction?

  • Sidekickgirl on February 20, 2017 at 7:37 PM

    Trauma-B-Gone is a non-narcotic pain reliever. It is not addictive in nature.

  • Greywolf1963 on October 15, 2020 at 2:38 AM

    Cherry has a bad rap from back in the days when every “cherry” flavored medicine or fluoride treatment tasted like crap made by people who had never eaten a cherry in their lives. The mint flavor was much more popular because while it still tasted bad, it was at least identifiable as something resembling mint.

© Erika and Laura | RSS