HAPPY TENTH BIRTHDAY US!
Wow. She isn’t pulling the “Can’t you be civil with them for one day?” card.
I thought that was the standard guilt trip to get you to go to family events and get walked on.
Should Chris tell his sister he’ll have to bail?!?!?
I’m detecting just a wee bit of snark from the twins.
I hope that’s sarcasm. It sounds too much like chauvinism and I already don’t like Fred and George Weasley. Chris’s feelings about her wedding are valid points. But if he lets his family’s questionable behavior influence him like that then he’s going to miss out on ALL of the family’s major moments: weddings, christenings, holidays, births and funerals. Also, it means that they’ve won. They get to keep him at arm’s length and can forget conveniently that they’ve got someone gay in the family.
Forget about whether the homosexuality offends the kinfolks. What matters is being an adult, saying to hell with what they think and being there for the few people who actually do care.
It’s neither, thats two little brothers teasing big sis who NEVER uses bad language for “disney cursing”
Ouch!Its sad that chris feels he has to essentially disown his own family just to avoid aggro.If his entire family were unsupportive jerks Id say breaking off is fine but theres very obviously family that still loves him that hes hurting by fearing all the others.Its not an easy road but he should definately go even if its just to not let the family members that hate him win by driving him away.
“he should definately go even if its just to not let the family members that hate him win by driving him away.”
He might feel more comfortable attending if his sister told all potentially offensive parties that their invitations are contingent upon their manners. If they are unwilling to keep their opinions about Chris to themselves, they are not welcome and will, if necessary, be escorted out.
Why on earth anyone would expect their LGBT+ friends and family to accommodate bigotry is beyond me. It makes much more sense to disinvite anyone who doesn’t respect the bride and groom enough to be civil to the other guests.
They disowned him as the wronged party he feels no dedire to be the bigger person (i have aunt uncles and 2 older siblings i dont talk to cause they cut me off years ago and i refuse to be the bigger person when im the youngest)
Awww, this comes across as sweet to me. Not about the family (nothing makes me sadder than well-intentioned people who put pressure on others rather than just reminding them that they’re loved no matter what happens), but rather about the sister getting married who insists her brother be there for her because she knows anyone who says her brother isn’t awesome just the way he is are dummies.
Also, as a highly religious person, the fact she she comes across as highly religious herself makes me happy (if only because, like me, she feels/would feel what she’s saying is extreme language). I sometimes think I’m a sole ambassador for my kind- a gamer, a comic lover, an internet meme connoisseur, who also loves God and the gospel. I sometimes feel nervous to admit that I’m LDS, because I know that so many people have had terrible experiences with religion (my own or otherwise) and I don’t want to be lumped in with anyone who has ever said God hates gays/etc. God hates no one, and as far as I know no one is any better than anyone else. I love God, and I love my fellow man, and I am so glad that this sister is standing with her brother, so glad indeed- and so glad for this brother, that in his family he does not need to feel alone.
….are the writers’ spying on my family? Because my soon-to-be-married Baby Sister has had several of these talks with multiple guests – Pagans, Baptists, Agnostics.
I got one too: “Yes, you can excuse yourself if a migraine hits at any point. I’m the bride and I say it’s okay.” I also have a pass for minimum photo stands and forgiveness for ‘Twitchy’ smile.
Needless to say, Mom’s got several gal-friends on the ‘drama-disposal’ squad. We have a list of names and action plans, and hopefully WON’T need to use anything.
…hmm, do you think Sarah and Chris could hire the Fishnet Ninjas to run similar interference?
Don’t worry, our spies aren’t THAT good. (yet…. ::shifty eyes::) It’s not based on any one person or family. It’s just distressingly common.
Hiring a group of stocking-clad thieves as peacekeepers, though, that’s innovated. Not subtle. Not your usual “the bridesmaids and groomsmen are on the lookout for problems, and Cousin Sue is on Grandma duty,” but innovated.
So…here’s a thought. Was Chris'”coming out” not as a gay person, but as someone with super powers? I know my family gatherings are chaotic enough without throwing someone who causes confusion in the mix.
Either way, the family is being ridiculous.
I honestly wondered that myself, is it the super hero connection and not being gay that has the family’s knickers in a knot?
If he does go,should Chris adopt some sort of disguise?
Or maybe consult his friends and fellow sidekicks about this dilemma?
That would never work. Chris is registered with the Hero Corporation…
And covering up something that fabulous would be a crime!
What I meant was,Chris would wear a wide brim hat and overcoat and sunglasses,sit waaay in the back and the slip out afterwards…..?!?
The way I see it, there’s 2 options. Option 1, Chris comes, with a date, and the bride warns the rest of the family that they can be there with smiles and warmth or they can like the photos on Facebook. This will probably end badly. Option 2, Chris plans the bachelorette party, hangs out with the bride, does a nice dinner with her and the fiancé at some point, and then skips the wedding. Not as satisfying, but probably keeps everyone who matters as happy as possible.
I hope Chris gets to attend the wedding without evil family drama and hopefully without a supervillain crashing the event. Although I suppose that could be combined with a family member becoming a super-villain. Then Chris could legitimately beat up on a family member! Win-Win!
“He might feel more comfortable attending if his sister told all potentially offensive parties that their invitations are contingent upon their manners. If they are unwilling to keep their opinions about Chris to themselves, they are not welcome and will, if necessary, be escorted out.”
In short she has to face the consequences of this during and afterwards.Is she going to hire some bouncers to drag grandma out kicking and screaming mid wedding vows?What if the offending party after a few drinks takes offence at being dragged out and takes a swing?Im very ok with her warning partys to not ruin her day with bigotry but if threats beyond not being invited come into things its just going to ruin her day regardless and make her the one in the family that “hired thugs to threaten grandma” for the rest of her life.
Acting like your wedding is taking place in a movie will make things worse, yes.
Instead, be clear and polite ahead of time: “grandma, I know how you feel about Chris but he’s my brother and I love him. It’s very important to me that no one hurts his feelings at my wedding. If you choose to attend, you need to keep your opinions about him to yourself. Thanks.” If grandma objects, you can say: “I’m sorry you feel that way. We’ll miss having you there but we’ll come by later with pictures.”
Basically, you just have a variant of the “can’t you get along for one day” conversation with the bigot instead of having it with the person the bigotry is directed at.
Then, just in case, you put a couple of groomsmen and/or ushers on “drunk uncle” duty. That doesn’t mean you ask them to put their hands on the guests – that’s not okay. It means you ask them to tell the “drunk uncle” that it’s time to go home and then walk out with him to make sure he gets into a cab instead of trying to drive.
If you believe your “drunk uncle” won’t comply with a polite but firm request, then don’t invite him. No one has the right to attend someone else’s (on average) $25,000 party.
@Black Rose: The hat-&-coat thing won’t work with Chris being in the wedding party.
Then what do you recommend?
I like your approach, Ali.
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